Simple Wisdom

"Living in peace, do not the saints fall asleep in the arms of victory?"  Charles Spurgeon

Let it be so, Lord Jesus.  Teach me to live in peace in all circumstances, and in the struggle help me to not let go of you in the midst of it.  Let me learn from Jacob who wrestled all night long with the cry, "I WILL NOT LET GO UNTIL YOU BLESS ME!"  Teach me to rest in the knowledge that you are my Immanuel, my Prince of Peace, and that no amount of trial changes that.  Remind me that my Good Shepherd will let me through the valley not for my demise but for my good and may I feel the comfort of Your rod and staff.   Amen.

God loves me (and YOU) at all times in all circumstances. I bless His Holy Name.

"Rejoice in the Lord always -delight, gladden yourselves in Him; again I say, Rejoice! Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness, your considerateness, your forbearing spirit. The Lord is near - He is coming soon. Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. And my God will liberally supply - fill to the full - your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (from Philippians 4 Amplified version)

Pray help me, Christ, to take my cup and drink it without drowning in it's dregs. Help me be a light, a beacon of one-mindedness, always focusing on your giving and leaving the taking to You to solve.

Cathedral 

Arches of reaching limbs 

Crickets sing secret hymns 

Over all of us 

Fireflies 

Tickle across our palms 

Lit up like diamonds drawn 

From the black above 

Awake my soul to live this moment 

Awake my soul, give thanks and hold it 

Dear now 

God is here now 

Awake my soul 

Day ends 

And brown eyes smile back at me 

She wipes my kiss from her cheek 

After last “Amen” 

Hush away the hurry 

Put to rest the worry 

Come to quell and quiet me 

In this moment given 

Slow and fully live it 

Drink up all the passing peace 

~Awake My Soul, Shaun Groves~

Sit down and partake of the abudance of Christ

I sit in my home in the quiet of the morning, sipping coffee, stroking the dog laying in my lap, and open the Scriptures.  I have a goal to read the Bible in its entirety again, having accomplished this only once since I came to know the Lord all those years ago.  Today, I finish Judges and go on to read chapters 13 and 14 in the gospel of Matthew.  I marvel at all of those red letters staring at me from the page:  The very words of Christ, just sitting there waiting to be ingested, ready to teach and transform me.  I am struck by the fact that these 2 chapters both hold miracles of feeding, of multiplying something infinitesimal and making it abundantly huge.  The first is the feeding of the 5,000 men, besides women and children, and the second is like it, only 1,000 less.  In the first account, people have traveled for miles and miles to hear the teaching of Jesus ("Isn't this just the carpenter's son whose mother is Mary and don't we know His brothers and sisters??") and experience the miraculous.  Many hours in, His disciples come to Him and say, "Lord, it's getting late.  How about we send these people to the neighboring villages so they can get something to eat?"  Jesus, in His quiet and understated way suggests that they feed them.  Can't you imagine the disciples looking incredulously at one another, scrambling in their brains to figure out what in the world to do with that?  And here's the part that jumps out at me this morning.  He asks the disciples in both accounts what they have.  "Just a few loaves and fishes," they reply.   
"Bring them to Me."  Don't you wonder if they're thinking, "Alright, Lord, but it's not going to do any good."  Just like me.  "Alright, Lord.  I'll bring you the little I have, and really it isn't much!  Just myself and my fears, anxieties, inadequacies, sinful tendencies. . ."  

So they bring the little, and Jesus says something that strikes me hard.  "Sit down," He says to the crowd, and to His disciples as well.  This is not not something they can make happen.  They must sit, rest, simply BE, and receive the blessing from the hands of Christ.  And what does He give them?  Everything they need and then some, 12 baskets left over from the feeding of the 5,000 and 7 baskets left over from the feeding of the 4,000.  

So I am reminded again today to pull up to the table of Christ, who takes my meager offering and turns it into a feast, who provides for my every need and then some so that I can spill over onto the people with whom I rub shoulders today, and at the end of this gift of a day I will not feel depleted or worn out emotionally and spiritually. . .I will have baskets-full left over, provided by the hand of Christ Himself.

"All Is Grace........"

Life is never what we expect it to be, is it?  Even in the midst of earnest prayer, of purposefully reading and earnest conversation with those who've gone before us, we can never be fully prepared for what real life will be like when whatever big moment we've been waiting for finally arrives. . .

Responsibility can weigh heavy.  Feelings of inadequacy can cause panic.  Performing well, especially in the sight of so many who have been faithful to pray and help in a myriad of ways, can quickly become your focus.  Fear can creep in the middle of the night and choke.  

What is one to do?  Things must be done.  Children must be discipled, given a place to love and be loved, to grow and create, to learn the mysterious and beautiful ways of God. . .and how?  By watching and listening and, scarily enough, emulating the adults God Himself has given to them.  Even typing that, fear begins to take hold in a heart.  

This is when He calls, real quiet. . .soothing words for a frightened soul.  "Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."  "My peace I give to you...I do not give as the world gives."  "You will find rest for your souls."  "I will never, ever leave you or forsake you."  "Cast all your cares on Me, for I care for you."   

It has taken me years to learn, and I'm almost ashamed and a little shy to say that I am still daily learning it.  It is not about my ability to perform.  It is not about my capability to DO.  It is about learning to belong in Him.  Learning to live, even to take each breath, in the security of His love.  It is about learning to give thanks in all things, even and maybe especially, in the hard; in the things that push us way beyond our own limits, to the place where faith lives.  Isn't this what I've been asking for all these years?  Sometimes, I admit, I need for my faith to become sight; I need for Him to show me that I am walking exactly where He wants me to walk and He's directing my every step, even holding me and walking with me in His strong, comforting arms when the way is unfamiliar.  


But He's already been here, hasn't He?  He is the great I AM...He is fully present in the future.  This way is not unfamiliar to Him.  This path is One that He's been down.  He knows where to go.  He knows what I'll need for the journey, and He'll be sweetly faithful to give it, without reservation.  "...how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts if you ask Him?"  

Someone signs each of her e-mails, "All is Grace".  I am learning this is true.  ALL is grace.  ALL is precious gift, because it comes directly from the hand of a loving God.  This is the net that holds me up, that catches me when fear grabs and I feel like I'm falling.  He is with me.  Always, always, He is with me.
 

We Have Her!!

What a big, big day.  This morning we woke up early to a tremendous thunderstorm around 4:30 a.m. here.  This, of course, meant that the brain started to run and sleep was no longer a possibility.  It has been a long time, if ever, that I have felt that nervous.  We got up, packed a backpack full of things that we thought we may need for going to see Biruk for the first time since May 31st, and headed downstairs to wait for the van to pick us up.  We are so, so fortunate to be here with the same two couples we met on the first trip.  It's been such a blessing to be able to share such momentous occasions with these 2 families.

We hopped in the van and headed to the care center.  When we got there, they asked us to remove our shoes and put on flip-flops that they provide to try to keep the care center as clean as possible, and we went inside and up a flight of stairs to the room where we were to see our children.  It's hard to describe what waiting in that room with our friends was like...all of us (girls, that is) were tearing up just thinking about seeing our girls again.  The staff brought our girls in one at a time.  Jenn and Jay were first, and they brought in their daughter, Anaylim.  How amazing to be able to watch them be reunited with their sweet daughter forever.  Next, Biruk was brought in, and Aaron and I got down on our knees and hugged and kissed and kissed and hugged, and it struck me.  Our daughter was home, not in Swayzee, Indiana, but home in our arms.  *sigh*  Completely amazing.  Then we got to watch Abby and Roger reunite with their daughter, Wudinesh.  We got to stay for a couple of hours playing, and then they made us leave to go to lunch.  Biruk did not understand this.  It was her naptime, but she clung to me and cried, a panicked look on her face.  I asked the staff to please explain to her that we were coming back in just a couple of hours, but she was having none of it.  I had to leave her behind, crying in her room.  I had NO appetite for lunch; I just wanted to stay with her!!  This was absolutely the worst part of the day.  When we got back the staff did a farewell party for the girls, providing each of them with a traditional Ethiopian dress and head scarf, cake (which she totally hated) and a coffee ceremony.  Biruk was acting a little bit strange; she would not let anyone touch Aaron or I (especially kids from the orphanage) and kept pointing out the window.  She very much wanted to leave and was feeling quite protective of her new parents!!  We hopped in the van, sat Biruk in our laps, and off we went.  When we pulled up to the place we are staying, Biruk started to stiffen and got panicked again.  She started whimpering and we kept telling her over and over, "You're staying with us, baby girl.  We're not leaving you here.  You're coming with us and we're coming with you."  She finally started to grasp that we were not going to be separated again and calmed down a bit.

We headed up to our room where she had a banana and a bottle of water, and then we let her go through her suitcase.  She looked at every shirt, every skirt, every pair of pants (and folded it all when she was done looking.  WHAT??), and had me put a miriad of hair pretties in her hair.  Pictures will follow when we get home :)  We showed her pictures of the kids and to our complete shock she repeated after us, "Emma.  Eli.  Leah.  Kristen.  Maggie!"  The first day with her has been awesome.

I have to get off this computer...sorry for the length of the blog but I wanted to at least fill you in a little bit!  Please continue to pray. This is a big adjustment for us all and we need God right in the middle of it.  We love you all!

Whatever the Lord starts, He is faithful to complete

Here's the blog I've been waiting to write for 19 months.  This is the one that feels a little bitter-sweet, even as I type it.  After all of this time, after all of the praying, waiting, filling-out-mountains-of-paperwork, talking, dreaming, thinking, and falling in love with a three year old Ethiopian little girl named Biruk, I am so over the moon excited to tell you that we are picking her up.  Our baby girl is coming home.  The waiting is sweetly and finally over.  I think I may have felt this way as I was laboring to deliver our other children.  So very, very excited to hold and cuddle, kiss and snuggle this newest blessing to our family; and also feeling a little nostalgic and thinking that this was the last day that we were a family of 2.  Then of 3.  Then of 4.  Then of 5.  Then of 6.  Now of 7.  It's that understanding that things will never be the same again.  It's the letting go of what was to grasp the new that God is doing.  And it puts a small twang in my heart.

What I love to think of is when we were finally introduced to our newest additions as they came into the world.  All of the wondering, the asking of questions, (will I be able to do this well?  will I be able to love this one as much as I love the one who came before?  how will this change our little family?  what will "everyday" look like now?) fled out of my mind and I just knew.  They were always meant to be with us.  Such a short time after birthing our children into this world I remember thinking, "What was life like before them?  I honestly can't remember."  It will be that way with Biruk.  We will get her home and we will say with all honesty, "She was always meant to be with us.  I can't remember life before she came."  

We leave on a plane Thursday afternoon.  We arrive in Ethiopia on Friday night.  We come home a week later, forever and blessedly changed.  Our missing puzzle piece will be home...not just a picture on our refrigerator but a sweet baby girl padding down the steps in a Tinker Bell nightgown holding blankie in early morning sunshine.  It has been a year and a half I will always remember.  I think I understand Mary, the mother of Jesus, a little bit better now.  I, too, will be pondering these things and treasuring them in my heart for years and years to come.  How I praise the Giver of all good gifts.

We've been submitted!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I opened up my e-mail today to do what I do everyday.  Check to see whether or not our adoption agency contacted us about Biruk.  The past 2 weeks we've not heard anything so I really wasn't expecting anything different.  Instead, we got this little gem of a message :

Dear Travis Family,

Congratulations! We just received word that your case was submitted to the US Embassy today.

Once they have reviewed your case and cleared your family for a visa interview we will be in contact with you about travel dates.

There really is a light at the end of the tunnel!!  We are praising the Lord for His goodness and perfect timing!