I tend to reflect when I'm expecting, and this time around is no different. I was thinking back over all of those special God-moments in which He told me I was going to be a mommy again. I'd like to share one of my favorite times with you, if you don't mind. It happened one afternoon as we were enjoying a fantastically wonderful day on the beach at Dunes State Park with our long-time friends, the Poole family. I needed out of the house in the worst way. No actually, I remember having the thought, "I need out of this COUNTY!" I just needed a change of scenery, needed to have an adventure, so while my husband worked hard at discipling Junior and Senior High students, I rounded up the kiddos, packed a huge picnic basket full of food, and hit the road. We were all very excited because we'd never been there before. Seriously, if you find yourself wondering what to do this summer and you know you've got a beautiful day coming, go to this park! We climbed the dunes, we ran down the dunes, we took pictures, the kids swam in what the adults thought was frigid water, we buried children neck-deep in the sand, watched the kids build sandcastles and forts, ate, talked, and laughed our heads off.
Anytime I take the kids out by myself, I am constantly counting them to make sure they're all there. 1-2-3-4. Yep, we're good. Some time later: 1-2-3-4...I panicked. Four?? Where was the fifth?? I counted again. I started to run closer looking for the fifth when I realized...I only have four children. I laughed out loud thinking how weird that was, and then it struck me. The feeling that Someone was missing from our family had never gone away. The understanding that we were being called to add to our family started to sink in. That's when I started to miss our child who wasn't there. God has turned this feeling into a longing to have our child(ren) home with us. I want to read to them and tuck them into bed with a kiss and a prayer. I want to see them rubbing sleepy eyes in the morning and climb beside me in my chair for an early morning snuggle. I want to hug them and kiss them on sweet little chubby cheeks. I want to get splashed during bath time. I want my babies home. How very thankful I am that God really can grow babies in a mommy's heart.