The Journey Home

Monday, May 23, 2011

"I need Thee, Oh I need Thee...Every hour I need Thee..."

I love this old hymn because it's true.  I used to think that the Lord called us to adopt to care for the widow and orphan as He commands us to do in the book of James.  That's true, but certainly not the only reason.  He wanted to bring our family to a new place spiritually; a deeper place of trust and sweetness of relationship that we were missing.  Yesterday was Sunday.  I love Sunday.  I especially loved yesterday because I got to hear my man preach.  I'm tellin' ya.  The Lord gave me a man who is willing to listen to His voice and learn from Him; a man who is learning to walk the adventurous walk with Jesus and is willing to take his family with him.  I am blessed beyond blessed to be his partner in this crazy life.  After church we had a pitch-in to welcome our new worship minister, Jonathan Smith, and I dearly love me a good church pitch-in.  When we got home, some good friends down the road called my kids to enjoy the day working on a fort they've been building together over the past few months, and what kid doesn't want to spend the afternoon traipsing through a woods and using saws and hammers??  I took the opportunity to pick up a book I bought about parenting an internationally adopted child.  I so want to do this right.  We love this sweet little girl and want for her to know and love the Lord, to know that she is deeply and unconditionally loved by us, to know that we will care for her and care deeply about her.  We want her to have a love for who God created her to be, to love her birth family, birth country, and culture.  The weight of this tremendous responsibility caused me to search for answers in "experts" who disagree on a variety of issues, and I broke.  I cried and couldn't stop.  I needed the physical release of all of those feelings, but this morning I realized that the cause of those feelings was that I was relying on man's limited wisdom.  I need GOD's wisdom.  He created Biruk for a specific purpose.  He loves her and knows her in deep ways that even she may not know yet.  This morning, I asked Him to show us what she needs and to help us to meet those needs.  I asked for discernment as she learns and grows so that we can understand her.  We desperately need Him.  We cannot do this without Him.  We won't do this without Him.  We need Him to fill us, to fill our home, and to tune our ears to the sound of His precious and powerful voice.  "Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you."  There's nothing better we could do for our family.

No comments:

Post a Comment